I had to write sentences yesterday.
There was what felt like an epic battle of wills involving much screaming (that high-pitched kind), crying, refusing to cooperate, etcetera. And I just lost it. I am not proud of myself.
All while saying, “you need to calm down and control yourself.” Ironic but true. So I made myself write sentences because that only seemed fair: “I will control my anger and not hit my children.” Fifty times.
After some cooling down time and apologies and sorry-crying, we tried again. And we both did much better.
Whether it’s all the time we have to spend in each other’s company with so few social outlets, or the political craziness that is happening, or–oh yeah, a global pandemic, it seems there are so many triggers right now. Bad word choice. Sorry. But the truth is, being a mother has shown me that I’ve never really dealt with anger all that well, and I’m worried that I won’t be giving my children the tools they need if I haven’t even mastered them. I try to teach them to breathe deeply, count to ten, and get some quiet space if they’re feeling angry, but I’m not always a very good model of that.
So, what do you do when you find yourself in a space where you know what you need to teach but not how to teach it?
And what are some constructive ways you’ve found to deal with anger? Teach me!
with love, Anita